꒰ ♡ dear diary . . . january 24th 2021
in this diary, i would like to speak about some of my hardships and who i want to be and what some of my dreams are.
recently i have gone through several hardships. i have been doing so much better than i used to with my mental illness, but it still gets me sometimes, and it
has recently. i have been dealing with a lot of the stress of working towards a healthy life.
achieving healthy sugars and insulin levels is a little difficult, and has taken entire lifestyle changes. they are certainly for the positive - but it
does not mean that they cannot be a stressor. i also recently have gotten engaged. another positive thing - but happy things can be stressful too.
as i am typing, i am recovering from a 24-hour stomach bug that has left me tired and lacking energy.
i have needed to go off of my diet for this time because all i want ar strawberries, soda, and fruit. and it is important to
honor my stomach and my desires while i am recovering.
i have other medical issues i have been dealing with as well. next week, i am getting surgery as well as i am
getting my coronavirus vaccine very soon. this month is fairly overwhelming so i am just trying to take it as easy as possible.
luckily my surgeon prescribed me something for my anxiety before surgery so that i will not panic beforehand. my surgery has been a large stressor for me.
overall.. i have been busy and stressed, but i have been attempting to grow, too. i didn't get to post something that i wanted to
on my youtube channel, but i needed to take it easy. i have been reading more and learning more to become a better person and gain new perspectives on life.
now.. i will elaborate on the type of person i would like to be in this present moment.. as i have been thinking about my identity a lot.
i would love to be always living in the moment, full of joy. i have been trying to spend more of my life doing.
i read more, i play more, i act on impulse, i try new things. i am trying to learn to meditate, as well. meditation has always been a large
challenge for me because my mind loves to think about the future. i have visions and dreams and love for so much - it is hard for me to
find silence. but i want to find silence and intention
i want to live my whole life with intention. i want to be intentionally kind, intentionally loving,
intentionally selfless, sensual, creative... everything. everything i do, i want to live with intention and speak my dreams into the world.
i try very hard, but i must accept this is a lifelong journey.
i want to be healthy and a good wife. i have been pondering what makes a good wife, and often,
it is the same as what makes a good person. receptive, empathetic, to be of service.. not just to my partner,
but to the whole world. kindness and love and service knows no gender. i will be the best person i can be, and that will subsequently make me a good wife.
i think i will continue another day. i am very tired and need to sort some things out again.
i love and cherish all of you.. thank you for the support and kindness you have given me. i am forever thankful and
i will learn to be of better service to you and to myself.
sincerely, mimmy ♡
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꒰ ♡ dear diary . . . january 24th 2021
i have been feeling very odd today. i noticed that the things i like aesthetically and stylistically are very influenced by those i surround myself with
and my mood. i think this is normal, but it causes me to think more of my identity, and i get stressed because i want to organize my personality.
however, this is unrealistic. personalities and styles are free-flowing and everchanging.
one part of my personality that has made itself more prominent as of late are my spiritual interests. i desire to learn more about crystals
and magickal stuff, like witchcraft. this has led me to begin working on a witchcraft page for my website that i will like in my about page.
i will use it to organize certain magickal topics i am learning about. i am also influenced to make a game regarding crystals, spirituality, and self-love.
to bring this entry to a close, i would like to thank those who are kind to me and close to me. i am changing everyday, and i am focusing on becoming
the person i am and have always wanted to be, and your kindness helps me more than you think. i love creating things for myself and for everyone to enjoy,
and i am glad that others truly do enjoy my creations and find comfort in them. i love you all ♡ thank you . . . ♡
sincerely, mimmy ♡
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꒰ ♡ dear diary . . . january 22nd 2021
all blinkies found at
gifcities
i should have linked to their web archive pages instead of just
downloading and hosting them myself, but i remembered that far too late !!
i have been sick the past few days ;-; luckily it isn't covid !! turns out it is probably strep :P but i dont have tonsils so it isn't
so bad !! m taking medicine for it rn, hopefully whatever it is goes away !! after i recover i plan on exercising again, but while i rest,
i am going to work on my website and browse the internet a lil bit !!
i have sososososo many ideas it is overwhelming !! i need to find my center and regroup, and maybe relax a lil. and take things one at a time !!
i just get so creative and have little ideas pop in my head all the time, my to-do list grows daily !! i need to learn to write it all down haha !!
but i have been working really hard on my website !! i updated the little trademark thing at the bottom . . . i also have been working on blinkies, buttons, banners, and stamps. it is a whole lot of fun,
i need to remember to make time for my hobbies and have fun every once in a while, instead of worrying soso much about my health and such !!
sincerely, mimmy ♡
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꒰ ♡ dear diary . . . january 19th 2021
lately i have had less time to work on my programming & game design, i have been so busy with other things. this week i have two dentist appointments
to attend, one for a consultation to remove my wisdom teeth, and another for a cleaning. i am not excited. i do not mind the dentist, but i fear the surgery that is to
come.
i have been feeling very well. i have been working hard on my health and fitness, because i realize i must be serious about my health. i have multiple health conditions,
my most prominent one being type 2 diabetes, which impacts my body and how it functions greatly. to manage it, and to hopefully put it in remission, i have been altering
my diet to something that i can sustain for a long time, but also does not elevate my blood sugars very much.
i have been focusing a lot on exercise as well. for a long time, i did not exercise. i had no energy because i struggled with depression much more in the past. since moving
and gaining more control over my life, i have far more energy. i now do yoga, cardio, and calisthenics everyday, and soon, i will start jogging every other day. exercise has changed my life
and how i feel about myself. my body feels better every day, i feel stronger and more flexible and i am full of energy. i also feel more confident, and it makes me happy.
so that is why i have been a bit inactive . . . i am finding a balance in life right now, and most of my time needs to be dedicated to maintaining my mental and physical
health. after this week, when less energy is dedicated to worrying about the dentist, i hope that i may start working on things again. it feels as if i have less creativity,
perhaps i have less room for it, so i have not had a lot of fully formed ideas. i hope i can find something lovely to show all of you, but until then, i will be working on these
necessary things in my life. thank you for your love and patience.
sincerely, mimmy ♡
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꒰ ♡ dear diary . . . january 14th 2021
i had a very good breakfast. i had seaweed soup with ginseng green tea . . .
with a salmon omelette. it made me feel warm and nice. it felt good cooking for myself today, and i wish to learn more recipes. soon i must shop for groceries, to get vegetables. i wish to make miso soup with all of the things i like!
last night my partner and i watched howl's moving castle. thus far, it has been one of my favorite ghibli movies. it had excellent art, lore, and pacing, and was emotional. i loved it. the world felt so big and interesting. perhaps i should read the book it was based off of.
now, today, i am studying a javascript library that will allow me to embed HTML games, so i can share things with you all. i have been getting a lot better, i understand more things with web development and game development . . . i aim to get even better and release a lot this year . . . but if i don't, there's always more time and more to create.
thank you for your love and support. it's something i am grateful for everyday, to have people i can interact with, to have people enjoy the same things as i do, and to have people enjoy my work and feel comforted by it.
sincerely, mimmy ♡
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꒰ ♡ dear diary . . . january 13th 2021
today i bought some seaweed soup. i have never had it, i think, so i cannot wait to try it. i also purchased miso paste to make better miso soup with, as i
usually eat the instant miso. i think that the paste has more live bacteria in it, and i am coming off of antibiotics, so some probiotics are in order.
other than that, i have been working on this website. i am very proud of it but still have a few steps to go . . . i know that i will make it !! after it is finished,
i will have more time to work on art and games. i am really, really, really excited to make more games . . . i have not really had many ideas, but i know that once i
take the time to think . . . i will know what to do ♡
i know that i have had a dress-up game in the works, and i intend on finishing it. life has simply been . . . ever-changing. i have moved, i am more active
i am more aware of things around me, and i am more free. i am learning everyday. yesterday i did laundry for the first time in a very long time . . . and it feels good
to be able to do that for myself. i honestly cannot wait to do it again. i enjoy doing chores even though sometimes i lack the motivation . . . i have found a new rhythm to life,
and things are turning up !! ♡
sincerely, mimmy ♡
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